The last few days I have been coming to a realization and I hope it is not incurable, But I have realized I am becoming more and more into a basic bro. Now I know being basic for some people who have more serious things to worry about such as disease and raising a family, but for me a twenty something male this feels like I just received the death sentence.
It all seemed to begin with very suddle signs. I started wearing baseball caps on my days off cuz I didn’t feel like doing my hair. Then I got a gym membership to get in better shape. I started to wear button downs on certain nights out to step up my swag game some.
Then before I knew it i was living at the gym and starting to use sentences such as “I’m about to crush it at church and then pound some mickeys and get weird.” Now I know i lost most of you with that one unless your also a basic bro then you definitely understood, but for the rest of you it means I’m going to the gym and then I am going to drink some Michelob Ultras and probably go out. Yeah I know it’s pretty bad. This is an actual text conversation I had with one of my friends the other day.
Me: when you comin to the gym today bro
Him: Leaving work at 3:30, so I’ll be there around 4:15. Wanna do legs first then normal chest/back workout.
Me: I am already here doing chest and back but I’m down for two a days! Let’s get it son!!!
Him: LOL word
Me: Live large, Die large, leave a giant coffin.
Yeah it pains me as much to admit that’s the person I have become as it does for you to read it. I am literally turning into the poster child for BBS (basic bro syndrome). It’s spreading through my system faster then anything.
I have within the last few weeks started putting on a backwards baseball cap as soon as I leave work, pounding pre workout and spending the rest of my night at the gym. My button ups seem to be becoming less and less buttoned cuz my bro brain needs to show off the gains.
Saturdays have become just for the boys and is chanted numerous times through out the day so we can remember. Sundays are reserved for drinking beer and watching golf. Yeah I even watch golf now. It is actually probably my favorite part of the week.
So this is where I am at with my BBS. I am doing everything possible to try to find a cure for this life altering disease. I am also starting a foundation to help bro’s as myself try to assimilate into our society as well as possible. So please remember me and bro’s just like me who want to be a functioning human, but every time we hear good news we can’t help but to ask for a high five. We have a disease and we want to be better.